hello friends
so umm yes i might not write for awhile. it is not a big deal. i thought about what i could tell you today but i have nothing interesting. i am letting work take over my life right now. the e k online store is all i think about. s came back this weekend. i saw him yesterday and today. i prepped roll-your-own-vietnamese-rice-paper-rolls with marinaded tofu for dinner last night. die! he helped me make a flourless chocolate cake. mercy! you can find it here. we had drinks with his friends at a wetherspoon, kind of like a rsl but less old people. you can buy a schooner for £1.99. cheap! in the morning we had breakfast with some more friends at a turkish eatery, very delicious. and then he left. i decided to give my feelings one last chance to voice themselves and i said "i would move mountains for you", my line from the last update. i wish i heard what he said into my hair. i cried, he held me and kissed my face. why we are not together? i loathe you, distance! i feel he is my punishment for all the times i treated boys badly. damn it must have been a lot of boys. after he left, i allowed myself an afternoon at the cinema and saw milk. i wish i liked it more. sean penn is amazing, the biopic is well-executed [spliced with archival footage], but it was too long and when my attention drifted i would get teary.
so you get the picture. if i keep writing to you in this state, all my updates will be about me crying over a boy and that just gets boring after awhile. i know i will get over it but right now there is an ache in my bones and i do not want to write about it all the time.
if rebecca were here, instead of across the sea with you, i would feel better. she would have told me to stop crying already and we would be drinking fennel tea, playing pick-up sticks, and watching movies. then i would be telling you about all the things i have to look forward to, like london fashion week. our show is on february 22. excitement city! the new range looks so good. there is no way my clothing allowance will cover all the things i want. the hussein chalayan retrospective just opened at the design museum and i really want to go to that. my friend bahbak is djing at club pacific in a few weeks time and then on saturday is work it players lounge, a 90s hip hop night at the ica [sort of like the mca but smaller and less art]. there is a slim chance aki and i can go to paris fashion week with the team in march but she thinks it is more than likely we will have to stay back and run a sample sale. boo! oh well, one can dream! i am very excited about coming home in june. i wish it were tomorrow.
miss you! love you! when i write to you next there will be no mention of crying, promise!
o
25 January 2009
19 January 2009
hello from london [part twenty-six]
hello friends
i hope you are well. i am fine, ok, maybe a little sad. it feels like everything that was good in my life last week has turned on its head. i secretly wish i was home right now. my world here is so small, it is almost incestuous. there are only so many people i can selfishly burden my problems with. a person at work made me feel really stupid on friday but i only just worked out this afternoon her comment was not directed at me. two people i care about said hurtful things to me, one intentional, the other not. i feel like i make the same mistakes over and over. maybe i should let my brain do some of the talking instead of always going with how i feel and then having to deal with the horrible aftermath.
i spent the weekend trying to make myself happy. i bought bread from broadway market for the first time, a round wholegrain loaf. where has it been all my life? so delicious! i made a cous cous and chunky vegetable soup this week, the bread is a perfect compliment. i did a lot of reading in bed. i finished what i loved by siri hustvedt. i really wanted to like the book because two good friends recommended it but i did not find it believable at all. i did some work at home. aki was away for three days at the end of last week and she left me a list of jobs to complete. i finished them all. the work i did at home was a bit extra. i hope she notices. i found out on friday e k is applying for a sponsor license. do you know what that means? once they get it, it is very easy for them to sponsor someone for work. they just have to fill out the appropriate forms and issue a certificate. i have a review coming up at the end of the month, do you think it is possible to negotiate a pay rise and sponsorship at the same time? i went to see the wrestler today. i love seeing a film by myself, it is so luxe. i did not believe the love story between randy and pam for a second, but regardless, mickey rouke is amazing. his character does things that make him happy but are not necessarily the best idea. same! sigh. i was tempted to rent ‘little miss sunshine’ for the hundredth time tonight because it never fails to make me feel better. i should just buy it. instead i am working on a felt face badge. you know, the girl with feathers and wind in her hair. are you surprised? i am. i have not touched felt in months. maybe this is a good time as any for some felt therapy. i love hand stitching, so old-school.
a certain someone is visiting this weekend. i know the sight of him will make me happy but, of course, that is the problem because we cannot be together and seeing each other is just prolonging the inevitable. do you know what i wish? i wish people could still say things like “i love you” and “i love you too. let us make this work”. why do people not say that anymore? has love lost its ability to move mountains?
thank you for being my shoulder to cry on. i know you are all probably rolling your eyes, thinking the ride we went on together trying to get the e k job was a lot more interesting this the weepy ride i am taking you on now. i wish i had more to show and tell. next week, i promise!
love
o
i hope you are well. i am fine, ok, maybe a little sad. it feels like everything that was good in my life last week has turned on its head. i secretly wish i was home right now. my world here is so small, it is almost incestuous. there are only so many people i can selfishly burden my problems with. a person at work made me feel really stupid on friday but i only just worked out this afternoon her comment was not directed at me. two people i care about said hurtful things to me, one intentional, the other not. i feel like i make the same mistakes over and over. maybe i should let my brain do some of the talking instead of always going with how i feel and then having to deal with the horrible aftermath.
i spent the weekend trying to make myself happy. i bought bread from broadway market for the first time, a round wholegrain loaf. where has it been all my life? so delicious! i made a cous cous and chunky vegetable soup this week, the bread is a perfect compliment. i did a lot of reading in bed. i finished what i loved by siri hustvedt. i really wanted to like the book because two good friends recommended it but i did not find it believable at all. i did some work at home. aki was away for three days at the end of last week and she left me a list of jobs to complete. i finished them all. the work i did at home was a bit extra. i hope she notices. i found out on friday e k is applying for a sponsor license. do you know what that means? once they get it, it is very easy for them to sponsor someone for work. they just have to fill out the appropriate forms and issue a certificate. i have a review coming up at the end of the month, do you think it is possible to negotiate a pay rise and sponsorship at the same time? i went to see the wrestler today. i love seeing a film by myself, it is so luxe. i did not believe the love story between randy and pam for a second, but regardless, mickey rouke is amazing. his character does things that make him happy but are not necessarily the best idea. same! sigh. i was tempted to rent ‘little miss sunshine’ for the hundredth time tonight because it never fails to make me feel better. i should just buy it. instead i am working on a felt face badge. you know, the girl with feathers and wind in her hair. are you surprised? i am. i have not touched felt in months. maybe this is a good time as any for some felt therapy. i love hand stitching, so old-school.
a certain someone is visiting this weekend. i know the sight of him will make me happy but, of course, that is the problem because we cannot be together and seeing each other is just prolonging the inevitable. do you know what i wish? i wish people could still say things like “i love you” and “i love you too. let us make this work”. why do people not say that anymore? has love lost its ability to move mountains?
thank you for being my shoulder to cry on. i know you are all probably rolling your eyes, thinking the ride we went on together trying to get the e k job was a lot more interesting this the weepy ride i am taking you on now. i wish i had more to show and tell. next week, i promise!
love
o
13 January 2009
hello from london [part twenty-five and a half]
hello friends
now that my big distraction [double sigh, major cry!] has moved and set up shop in hamburg, i can go back to having adventures in london worth writing home about.
last night i was at a friend’s house helping her with some production. i caught the bus home at midnight and when i got off at shoreditch high street, i breathed in the cold crisp air, side-stepped a fashionable east london couple and thought “i am back!”. i am back to rummaging through jumble sales, scoffing cakes at broadway market, searching for that elusive fun place to dance, and hanging with my shrinking number of friends. yay!
do you want to hear some news? i changed the date on my return ticket and am coming home for a visit on june 14. no umming and ahhing, this is for real! it is booked! will you be there? i hope so. chinese noodle restaurant, billy kwong, nepalese kitchen, bourke street bakery, yum cha, gelato at bar italia, my parent’s restaurant, the thai place in bondi junction, any sushi place [i do not care where, just take me], anyone? you must think i am starved for food here. it is not true but i do miss how accessible good food is in sydney. i miss the supermarkets, canned tuna, rozelle markets, poepke, the beach, chinatown, actually knowing where places are, and you. i miss you!
are you excited? i am!
love
o
now that my big distraction [double sigh, major cry!] has moved and set up shop in hamburg, i can go back to having adventures in london worth writing home about.
last night i was at a friend’s house helping her with some production. i caught the bus home at midnight and when i got off at shoreditch high street, i breathed in the cold crisp air, side-stepped a fashionable east london couple and thought “i am back!”. i am back to rummaging through jumble sales, scoffing cakes at broadway market, searching for that elusive fun place to dance, and hanging with my shrinking number of friends. yay!
do you want to hear some news? i changed the date on my return ticket and am coming home for a visit on june 14. no umming and ahhing, this is for real! it is booked! will you be there? i hope so. chinese noodle restaurant, billy kwong, nepalese kitchen, bourke street bakery, yum cha, gelato at bar italia, my parent’s restaurant, the thai place in bondi junction, any sushi place [i do not care where, just take me], anyone? you must think i am starved for food here. it is not true but i do miss how accessible good food is in sydney. i miss the supermarkets, canned tuna, rozelle markets, poepke, the beach, chinatown, actually knowing where places are, and you. i miss you!
are you excited? i am!
love
o
10 January 2009
hello from london [part twenty-five]
hello friends
happy new year! are you all loving it so far? it does not feel like a new year here. where is the summer, the beach, the heat like a furnace? it feels very strange to be in winter right now. sometimes i feel so cold i am afraid of slipping on the frost in case i shatter like a block of ice. four layers, two pairs of stockings, a pair of gloves, two scarves [i love the double scarf], and a wooly hat is not enough for you, london? i shake my frozen fist at you!
enough complaining. are you ready for stories?
some more greetings from denmark! i went to the henrik vibskov store in copenhagen, it was amazing. to see his vision encapsulated in a single space made my eyes pop [sort of tribal but fun, string strung everywhere, lots of bright colours]. down the same street was the copenhagen city library.
looking through the front windows, i thought it was a danish designer furniture shop. it had a roll of astroturf with a slight concave so one could sit on it. clever! my aunt kindly bought me tsumori chisato jumper dress [at 75% off, bargain!] and my cousin bought me a pair of socks. so nice!
happy new year! are you all loving it so far? it does not feel like a new year here. where is the summer, the beach, the heat like a furnace? it feels very strange to be in winter right now. sometimes i feel so cold i am afraid of slipping on the frost in case i shatter like a block of ice. four layers, two pairs of stockings, a pair of gloves, two scarves [i love the double scarf], and a wooly hat is not enough for you, london? i shake my frozen fist at you!
enough complaining. are you ready for stories?
some more greetings from denmark! i went to the henrik vibskov store in copenhagen, it was amazing. to see his vision encapsulated in a single space made my eyes pop [sort of tribal but fun, string strung everywhere, lots of bright colours]. down the same street was the copenhagen city library.
looking through the front windows, i thought it was a danish designer furniture shop. it had a roll of astroturf with a slight concave so one could sit on it. clever! my aunt kindly bought me tsumori chisato jumper dress [at 75% off, bargain!] and my cousin bought me a pair of socks. so nice!
is this not the sweetest bike you have ever seen? it appeals to the girl in everyone. do not fight it, you know it is true.
we spent the evening at tivoli, the amusement park in the centre of town. you know what that means, right? four hours of hanging about in the cold, riding as many rides as possible, screaming from start to finish on said rides, trying to settle my stomach [with fairy floss and toffee apples]. fun fun fun! on my last day with the relatives, killing time before dinner, i did something i had not done in years. i played the piano and enjoyed it. i felt so free. ok so my creaky fingers tripped over the keys and my cousins giggled at my rendition of popular danish children's songs, but i really enjoyed playing the piano. i am usually overcome by a sense of dread whenever i am near such an instrument because i was forced to play it when i was a child. not this time! in addition to entertaining [and i use that term loosely] everyone with my ivory tickling, i made a banoffee pie for dessert and prepared a roll-your-own-sushi-roll dinner much to everyone's delight.
now onto my london adventures. stefan and i went to the wolseley for afternoon tea last tuesday. the wolseley was built to house a luxury car showroom. it is grand and spacious with high ceilings, a black and white interior trimmed in gold. it is beautiful. come visit me and i will take you! it is very posh but not at all intimidating. the most delicious thing on the cake stand was the fruit scones especially when dolloped with the thickest clotted cream imaginable and the best strawberry jam we had ever tasted. die!
new year's eve was a very civilised affair. i spent the day helping my friend, v, with some production for her label. i had spent the last few days braiding long strips of black/ grey/ lilac/ apricot cotton jersey for belts and trims for her oversized jersey dresses. we are weaving silver and gold ribbons into the braids and they look amazing.
i went over to stefan's for dinner [moussaka, no side salad] and we made crazy masks out of paper hats for a nye masked party at his local pub. we danced our way into the new year.
on new year's day i spent the afternoon by myself cruising the sales at liberty and topshop. i tried really hard to resist the sales, i mean come on now, 50% off? only? give me 75%!
well i failed and came home with a sonia rykiel wool tote with a face knitted into it, a dirty ivory marc jacobs clutch, and a lingerie set. umm i work hard for the money? so hard for the money?
let me tell you about my amazing evenings out. last thursday stefan and i went to a preview of julie verhoeven's fannying around at the hayward. i love her work. who can resist the charms of illustrated girls with heart-shaped faces and big round eyes? not me! the installation was masses of paper plates painted with circles and illustrations of girls' faces stuck on. i was very tempted to peel one off the wall and slip it into my bag. on the way home stefan gets very excited because we are near [his words] one of the coolest places to have a drink in east london. near my house? where? he is looking down side alleys trying to find it and then stumble here stumble there, it appears. the bistrotheque! i am all wide-eyed surprise. it is down a dark street, you would never think there is anything worthwhile down there. i have always wanted to go to the bistrotheque but could never find it. it is a restaurant, a bar, and hosts cabaret shows. we stop by for a drink. it is dark and cosy and filled with east london types but lacks the usual air of pretension one would expect. at the end of the bar we are nursing our gin and tonics and making out like cans of noodles, as in, canoodling.
i cannot tell you how much i will miss s when he goes away tomorrow. it is so sad. i try to be brave and say brave things like i already knew this could not be anything more than whatever it is right now because he is leaving, that we have only known each other two months, it has been hardly any time at all. but i have never met a person lovelier, more considerate, and fun than him. the other morning when we were lying in bed, spooning, he called me his little spoon. die! the other thing i think about is this tape he found when he was packing his room. it is a recording of catherine williams and it started as our make-out tape but now when he plays it, it makes me cry. there is a knot in my stomach that tightens at the thought of tomorrow. i know this is all very silly and i am sure i will write again next week laughing at my follies, but right now, tears spring to mind.
it is saturday evening as i type this. i am supposed to go to cat's birthday party. you have to meet her, she is like no one you have ever met before. cat is an old lady trapped inside a young woman's body. she dresses very lady-like, all blouses and pencil skirts and furs and back-combed hair. she always looks amazing. we are all imitations of cat tonight. what to wear? i do not have a blonde wig. after, i am going to stefan's house. his housemates are amazing guitarists and they are having a late-night session with guests. the last time they did this [at their house party] it was pretty special.
i wish you were here.
lots of love
o
now onto my london adventures. stefan and i went to the wolseley for afternoon tea last tuesday. the wolseley was built to house a luxury car showroom. it is grand and spacious with high ceilings, a black and white interior trimmed in gold. it is beautiful. come visit me and i will take you! it is very posh but not at all intimidating. the most delicious thing on the cake stand was the fruit scones especially when dolloped with the thickest clotted cream imaginable and the best strawberry jam we had ever tasted. die!
new year's eve was a very civilised affair. i spent the day helping my friend, v, with some production for her label. i had spent the last few days braiding long strips of black/ grey/ lilac/ apricot cotton jersey for belts and trims for her oversized jersey dresses. we are weaving silver and gold ribbons into the braids and they look amazing.
i went over to stefan's for dinner [moussaka, no side salad] and we made crazy masks out of paper hats for a nye masked party at his local pub. we danced our way into the new year.
on new year's day i spent the afternoon by myself cruising the sales at liberty and topshop. i tried really hard to resist the sales, i mean come on now, 50% off? only? give me 75%!
well i failed and came home with a sonia rykiel wool tote with a face knitted into it, a dirty ivory marc jacobs clutch, and a lingerie set. umm i work hard for the money? so hard for the money?
let me tell you about my amazing evenings out. last thursday stefan and i went to a preview of julie verhoeven's fannying around at the hayward. i love her work. who can resist the charms of illustrated girls with heart-shaped faces and big round eyes? not me! the installation was masses of paper plates painted with circles and illustrations of girls' faces stuck on. i was very tempted to peel one off the wall and slip it into my bag. on the way home stefan gets very excited because we are near [his words] one of the coolest places to have a drink in east london. near my house? where? he is looking down side alleys trying to find it and then stumble here stumble there, it appears. the bistrotheque! i am all wide-eyed surprise. it is down a dark street, you would never think there is anything worthwhile down there. i have always wanted to go to the bistrotheque but could never find it. it is a restaurant, a bar, and hosts cabaret shows. we stop by for a drink. it is dark and cosy and filled with east london types but lacks the usual air of pretension one would expect. at the end of the bar we are nursing our gin and tonics and making out like cans of noodles, as in, canoodling.
i cannot tell you how much i will miss s when he goes away tomorrow. it is so sad. i try to be brave and say brave things like i already knew this could not be anything more than whatever it is right now because he is leaving, that we have only known each other two months, it has been hardly any time at all. but i have never met a person lovelier, more considerate, and fun than him. the other morning when we were lying in bed, spooning, he called me his little spoon. die! the other thing i think about is this tape he found when he was packing his room. it is a recording of catherine williams and it started as our make-out tape but now when he plays it, it makes me cry. there is a knot in my stomach that tightens at the thought of tomorrow. i know this is all very silly and i am sure i will write again next week laughing at my follies, but right now, tears spring to mind.
it is saturday evening as i type this. i am supposed to go to cat's birthday party. you have to meet her, she is like no one you have ever met before. cat is an old lady trapped inside a young woman's body. she dresses very lady-like, all blouses and pencil skirts and furs and back-combed hair. she always looks amazing. we are all imitations of cat tonight. what to wear? i do not have a blonde wig. after, i am going to stefan's house. his housemates are amazing guitarists and they are having a late-night session with guests. the last time they did this [at their house party] it was pretty special.
i wish you were here.
lots of love
o
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
